Photographs by Siddharth Dadhe
What do you get when you combine a 4.4-litre, twin-turbo V8, a plug-in hybrid system, (checks notes) 717 bhp, 100 kgm, all-wheel drive, a 0-100 kph time of 3.3 seconds and an unrestricted top speed (with an M Driver’s Package) of 305 kph? The all-new BMW M5, that’s %$*!* what. To put that into some kind of perspective, a Porsche 911 GT3 RS does 0-100 kph in 3.2 seconds, has a top speed of 296 kph — and costs almost twice as much as the M5, which is a proper sedan in which you can impress the hell out of the rest of the kindergarteners at your child’s school, when you drop them off every morning. You can also do mundane things like take it to the supermarket for the weekly groceries, and then scare the pantaloni off a Lamborghini Huracan while returning home. For decades, the M5 has been a supercar-level bargain, and the new version continues that rich vein of form.
It’s heavy, though — astoundingly heavy at 2445 kg, which is half a tonne more than the F90 M5; blame the hybrid powertrain for this bulk. It also looks… odd, with a face from the Angry Birds game and a rear that can’t quite figure out what it wants to do with itself, or what it wants to convey; its profile is its best angle, which isn’t saying all that much because it isn’t that memorable. This car has an undeniable presence, however, but that’s mainly down to how hefty it looks, which is fine if that’s your thing. The cabin is built to an incredibly high standard, as you would expect, and makes the M5 a genuine super-sedan (as always); it is, however, overly complicated in terms of the number of controls and settings.
The ‘super’ applies to the driving department as well, naturally. Acceleration is vicious and relentless, and I think BMW’s claimed 3.3-second 0-100 kph time is a little conservative; the way this thing reaches for the horizon when you floor the throttle gives new meaning to ‘shot from a cannon.’ With an electric motor lending the V8 a hand, forward progress is nothing short of epic, with a burbling soundtrack to match; on the back straight at the BIC, I ran out of track (and orbs) at around 230 kph, which meant that with the M Driver’s package, I’d still have had another 75 kph to play with.
Although its sheer weight is always a looming presence, the new M5 loves hunting for apexes, and with a whole new bunch of electronic trickery thrown in — rear steering, M Active Differential, AWD et al — it’s dead easy to fling it hard into corners knowing that the nannies have your back. The steering wheel has fantastic directional accuracy, which makes up for its lack of feel, and this translates to the chassis too — the bloody things darts around in physics-defying fashion, and the carbon-ceramic brakes have stopping power as immense as the car’s going power. Make no mistake, the new M5 is just as jaw-droppingly good as every generation before it. It’s just… heavy.
Good job that BMW had also lined up some cars to take care of the lightness side of things, then. Take the M4 Competition, for example. It has a face only a highly selective mother would love, but that aside, its twin-turbo, 3.0-litre 6-pot is glorious; I find it hard to argue with 523 bhp and 66 kgm of torque in any circumstances, and the 8-speed automatic is razor-sharp. The carbon bucket seats look ridiculously good and glue you into place while you’re engaging in some shenanigans, which is what you should be doing almost all the time in this car; it’s not exactly a featherweight at a touch over 1700 kg, but it will shred rubber as long as you want.
Next up, the M340i xDrive which — at ` 75 lakh — is arguably the best, most practical sports sedan in the country, kg-for-kg. It looks very good (none of that M4 gawkiness, thank goodness), offers up 382 bhp and 51 kgm from its 3.0-litre, 6-cylinder turbo-petrol and, as is well known by now, is India’s quickest locally-built ICE car; the 0-100 kph run is dismissed in 4.4 seconds, and nobody in their right mind really needs to go any quicker than that. This is a machine that feels alive, and just right, and it’s a mile away from the numbness that has crept into similar models from the competition. Around the BIC, it was fantastically assured — balanced, agile and very fast. After a few laps in this car, I was left wondering why you would need anything more powerful; the M340i’s mix of performance, comfort and everyday usability is absolutely superb.
The M2. Oh boy, the M2. If you drive this car and don’t grin like a loon, you cannot call yourself a petrolhead. It’s the very definition of what a modern sports coupe should be, is an insanely intoxicating and rewarding machine and is the best M car on sale, eyes shut. It’s almost as full of electronic whizbangs as its elder siblings, but the unfiltered and brutally direct manner in which it speaks to you is the stuff of automotive dreams. The slightly updated car gets a 20-bhp bump, with power from its 3.0-litre inline-six now at 473 bhp; the version with the 6-speed manual gearbox makes 56 kgm, but the car at the BIC was the 8-speed auto version, which makes 61 kgm. All of these figures combine in visceral fashion to provide a rear-wheel driven experiencing that’s beginning to become rare, in an electrified, electronic world — 0-100 kph in 4 seconds, the direction-changing ability of a bolting cat, a top speed of 283 kph with the M Driver’s Package and a brilliantly rude soundtrack. Perfection.
Oh, and lest I forget, the Z4 M40i was also up for grabs — and it was the one I enjoyed the most. You’re justifiably incredulous, so allow me to explain. In my old age, I’ve come to appreciate a slightly imperfect experience over a clinically perfect one, and the rag-top Z4 is just such a thing. Firstly, I love compact convertibles. Then there’s the fact that the Z4 feels analogue and oldschool — there are actual switches, buttons and dials in the cabin, for example. Its 3.0-litre, twin-turbo inline 6 makes a healthy amount of power and torque — 335 bhp and 51 kgm — but you have to drive the car really hard in order to keep up with the rest of this pack, and the little doses of scuttle shake and wiggling rear end make for a hugely entertaining outing. One thing is for certain — BMW has a sports/ performance car for every kind of driver, and for that we must give thanks.
