More from Motoring

Over the last decade, the Slush Fest hasn’t changed much. It’s the same random assortment of SUVs, picked from the lot after hot debates over several rounds of tea. It’s the same pointless exercise of objectively evaluating the off-road potential of cars that will rarely ever be put through even half of the terrain you will witness over the next few pages. You will see cars much preferred by real-estate barons and politicians powersliding in deep slush or climbing mountainsides you won’t find on your commute. Broken bash plates, dinged side skirts and battered egos — it’s all the same. Aren’t you glad some things just never change?

Climbing up a hill isn’t easy. It gets even more difficult when said hill is garnished with slush, loose rocks, moss and trees. What’s worse, though, is if you have to do it in a car. Which is sort of what the point is.

WHAT GOES UP…

Car Slush fest (19)

RENAULT DUSTER AWD
It missed our 2014 Slush Fest by a whisker and now it’s here to make a point. With 108 bhp on tap and just the 4×4 lock feature, it accelerates rather quick up this treacherous hill-climb, but speed isn’t of relevance here. Bang in the middle of the climb is a right-hander and a pit, which slows progress right down. The Duster’s low ground clearance takes a hit as the tyres struggle for grip in this easy-to-mess-up section. Its car-like feel is perhaps a disadvantage over terrain this challenging, but it’s still not rolling down the hill backwards at least! It struggles a bit, but it’s made it to the top in style.

MAHINDRA XUV 5OO AWD
The XUV 5OO AWD hasn’t seen any action in auto mags yet but we managed to pull off a scoop of sorts with it. It’s big, plush and loaded with features, but that means nothing on this gruelling terrain. All it gets is a button on the centre control that says ‘4WD lock’, ESP and Hill Descent Control. It’s slightly slower off the start line than the others here, also hampered by its approach angle a bit, but once it gathers momentum, its recently-acquired rally genes start to show. Not only is it easy to drive provided you keep throttle input just right, but it’s comfortable enough to take your family off-roading, too! Scraped off the bash plate, unfortunately, but it made it up just fine.

TATA SAFARI STORME 4X4
The Safari Storme is the only SUV in this group (the Mahindra Legend not included) with a body-on-ladder chassis and that does it huge favours. Its 2.2-litre diesel engine felt almost felt relaxed no matter what came its way and it dealt with the ascend with the ease of a mountain goat, albeit a very large one. Shift a simple knob to ‘4WD’ and thereafter let the throttle do its job. It’s also rather comfortable, the wheel articulation taking care of the deepest of ruts and some of us could even type entire text messages strapped into the co-driver seat on one of the recce runs. Well, some things have changed, then!

RANGE ROVER EVOQUE
I was afraid to even go close to the Evoque because the sound of expensive metal crunching against a rock is too agonising. The Evoque turned out to be a surprise, though. It looks more like a boulevard cruiser and Victoria Beckham rather likes one, but it’s serious about its off-roading. A few carefully tailored driving modes offer all kinds of off-road suitability and the Evoque has the grunt to do whatever you throw at it. Even the large street-spec tyres couldn’t bog the Evoque down and the suspension did its job commendably. The low ground clearance posed a slight disadvantage, but it made the climb with precision, all the while pampering me in luxury. Want to tag along, Vic?

MAHINDRA LEGEND
The Legend is rarer than most Lamborghinis and that’s no joke. Only sixty of these were ever produced, to mark Mahindra’s 60th anniversary in 2006 and it’s as serious as Mahindra’s ‘Jeeps’ have ever gotten. It’s powered by a 2.5-litre direct-injection diesel with so such impressive low-end grunt, its makers didn’t even mind its sub-100-kph top speed. It has a manual selectable ratio 4×4 unit and, in a sense, it feels like the most ‘automatic’ car of the lot. Just select the right ratio (4 high, in this case) and floor the throttle. It will shatter your spine and all of your teeth along the way, but you’ll be the first to climb any mountainside in the Legend and that wins you all the bragging rights. It’ll shame mountain goats, seriously.
…must COME DOWN

Going downhill, momentum is a greater force than horsepower and it’s all about control. It’s all very well, climbing up hills for recreation, but the way down is just as treacherous. This is mainly because it’s that very route again…

Car Slush fest (23)

RENAULT DUSTER AWD
It’s all about engine braking, braking in general, grip and a communicative steering. The Duster AWD, Legend aside, is the most compact of the cars here and both, its approach and departure angles are perfectly suited for this kind of challenge. Its light steering, however, is a disadvantage over slippery surfaces. There is no alternative to putting your front wheels exactly where they need to be and the Duster nearly got pulled off the track down the hill. Its ground clearance yet again posed a challenge around the rocky bits, but it sailed through with not much more than a dislocated side-skirt.

MAHINDRA XUV 5OO AWD
The XUV’s steering is also a bit electronically numbed and so it might have been a handful but Hill Descent Control saved the day for it. You just press the button on the dash, leave the car in first gear and watch it chalk its own course down the hill. A little steering input is essential, of course, but with the braking and downhill momentum taken care of, steering is hardly a bother. Lost a bit of time turning around the one big rock (that large bumper is a bit too low for comfort), but nevertheless made it down the hill just fine. Don’t ask about the celebratory donut that nearly propelled both car and its driver (ahem!) into a ditch, though.

TATA SAFARI STORME 4×4
Yet again the most effortless of the lot was the Storme. It went down the hill, clear of rocks and trees, with as much ease as it trekked up all the while carrying a fairly decent speed, too. The 200 mm of ground clearance it has (that’s higher than any other car featured here) left us with not a worry of the rocks we didn’t want to scrape its belly on, and with ample engine braking and very effective brakes, the descent was simply a breeze. I will go so far as to say it feels like a first-gen Land Rover Discovery (the original 1990 number) a bit and you are allowed the odd giggle. But the truth is, it really made light work of the task at hand and full points to it for that!

RANGE ROVER EVOQUE
I was a bit more confident with the Evoque this time around and it wasn’t unfounded. The Evoque really makes its gadgetry work overtime to make sure you don’t return home with an elaborate repair bill and I’m thankful for it. The approach angle, despite its low stance, is decent and as long as you don’t rush, it will do exactly as told. A bit more ground clearance might have saved it some time, but the point is, you can address your team of underpaid employees over the telephone while doing the unthinkable with the Evoque and they won’t notice a thing. Except your mud-splattered Saville Row suit, that is.

MAHINDRA LEGEND
True to its name, the Legend simply showed everyone who the boss is. It is living proof of the fact that electronics are no match for old-school iron, however crude it may be. It is for this reason (and the fact that it’s a 2006 example) that you are advised to not consider the Legend as a competitor but more as a representation of the analogue past. Once you’ve slotted it into gear – we chose second – and slot it into 4-low, you might as well sit back with a large tub of popcorn and watch it work its magic. This Legend has been retrofitted with power steering thanks to the enthusiastic Mahindra Adventure team which means you have to match steering inputs to its rate of descent (a bit difficult if you have dull reflexes) but even if it goes off-track, it has all the goods to pull itself out of trouble. Gotta do something about all the teeth we’ve lost, though…

SLIDE DISH

Car Slush fest (10)

The rule is simple: go as fast and as sideways as you can. Even if the road ahead is a straight line. It’s not as easy as you might think, though, given that anything beyond the track lacks any sort of grip whatsoever. That’s usually the way to describe a cold white-water stream, right?

RENAULT DUSTER AWD
The Duster redeems itself in this section. Its light kerb weight and peppy engine make the most of its rally-car aspirations on flat surfaces and it really is fun to throw around. The motor is quick to spin up the wheels and with a bit more pliant suspension, the Duster can be the autocross car you’ve always dreamt of. The light steering (which doesn’t feel as light on the road, mind you) is a bit unnerving at times given that you can turn in a bit too much when you don’t want to. Makes for a spectacular Instagram post, though.

MAHINDRA XUV 5OO AWD
If you like your SUVs big, you will love the XUV. It feels all heavy and butch, and with several national motorsport titles under its belt, it’s easy to see why the XUV beats the pants off conventional saloon-class rally cars. All right, so the rally XUV and the one you see here have little in common apart from genes, but those do count for a lot. The road tyres let it down massively, however, and the lack of a proper 4×4 unit (the one on the XUV offers a 60:40 split) can get you into trouble if you slide away onto a grassy run-off patch. Ask the two Gypsys that towed it out of the mess about it.

TATA SAFARI STORME 4×4
It feels like an old-school SUV — you’d have gathered that by now — and that means it feels the least car-like of the lot. What that translates to is that the Safari isn’t the fastest or the nimblest. However, it makes up by providing excellent feedback and control. Rohin helped himself to around a dozen attempts at powersliding the Safari and he didn’t stop until we called on the armed forces (No, it was the packet of chips that did him in – Anonymous). Its narrow-ish track and tall stance is a slight area of concern, but thankfully, we weren’t doing
Paris-Dakar kind of speeds, so it didn’t topple over. Can’t say that about some of us, though.

RANGE ROVER EVOQUE
The Evoque not only has enough power to slide around all day, it also looks rather spectacular while at it. If you have a sharp eye out for threatening rocks, you can blaze through the flats for hours on end and still emerge looking like David or Victoria Beckham, whichever may be applicable (or preferred). The steering is precise, the suspension works hard to save you a lot of trouble and most importantly, the Evoque doesn’t feel stressed no matter how hard you try to push it. If us rookies can get away trouble free, imagine what it can do in skilled hands!

MAHINDRA LEGEND
It’s not fast, like I mentioned before, but its off-road potential lasts until the last unit of its top speed. All you need to do is point the Legend in the intended direction of travel and then hold on tight so you aren’t thrown around in the cabin. It doesn’t look very composed when in motion, but rest assured, it will find a way to get you across, sideways or not. It keeps you busy if you push it hard, but it’s all in good spirit. The 4×4 works perfectly fine and the only thing that’s more fun to slide than the Legend is a Ferrari. Too bad you may never see a Ferrari at a Slush Fest, then.

Car Slush fest (29)
Raunak, demonstrating the fact that he has patience

TIPS-Y TURVY
Patience is paramount to off-roading and the last thing you want to do is to rush. Slow and easy works best, whatever type of 4×4 you may be driving, as it not only helps you understand every single movement of the car, but also keeps damage away. It’s better to ram into a tree slowly than at break-neck speed, for example. Be gentle on the brakes, gentler on the throttle and make sure you look around (or have friends to play spotter). Above all, assume the worst at all times. That way, you’ll spend more time having fun and less time waiting for the JCB to arrive.

This is a photo of people looking at photos. No, really.
This is a photo of people looking at photos. No, really.

DO IT YOURSELF
Want to be part of our Slush Fest? Well, you’ll have to join us for that to happen and by the looks of it, we can’t find too many takers. Still, if you are keen, try signing up for events regularly organised by Mahindra Adventure across the country. There is also the Rain Forest Challenge for those interested in heavy mods and extremely aggressive off-roading. Or you could save yourself the trouble and write a nicely-worded letter to our editor.